Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Call of Cthulu

So yesterday a bunch of us got together to play a horror RPG. An RPG similar to Dungeons and Dragons. We played it because:

a) we were bored,
b) it was an excuse for us to get together, and
c) it was based on H.P. Lovecraft's works.

We played it, and within the first five minutes we realized we were never going to take this seriously as a horror game. One of the first things we did was visit the Sanitarium and question a victim of a paranormal entity. All game characters were voiced by our Keeper (like a DM), who even put on voices and acted as he should. It was very enjoyable watching a 16-year-old boy play an insane 50-year-old woman. As if that wasn't enough to break our seriousness, when "she" started getting worked up, I physically left my chair and did this:


While this earnt me a round of applause from everyone, dear Keeper included, my character was promptly "escorted from the facilities and thrown in jail". Another player (henceforth called Peter) left as well to help me escape. We both rolled dice against our "Sneak" skills and both managed to escape jail. I also rolled against my "Luck" and found that no records of my brief incarceration had been made, so I got off scott-free.


It was at this point that we realized something important. We could literally do almost anything in this game. As long as we found a way to work it around our statistics and dice rolls, we could do whatever the fuck we wanted! Another player (I'll call him Rick) had scored his "Appearance" stat at 16/18, and therefore, according to our made-up stat "Sex Appeal", was the sexiest player in the game. With his newfound knowledge of "anything can be done", Rick set forth in our adventure seducing everything female we met:

(when we entered the possessed house, there were loud sounds coming from the top floor. Rick very nearly attempted to seduce the top floor to make it bend to his whim, but it was just too inanimate)

Later, while at the Sanitarium again, we tried talking to the husband of the insane woman (that Rick seduced earlier). All was going well, he was giving some startling information:


Then, Peter asked a question:


This, according to our Keeper, is what how the husband reacted:


"The husband stares at you, realizing what was just asked of him, then EXPLODES in a fit of anger, screaming and fondling his penis." This was another tipping point in our lack of seriousness.

Later, in the possessed house, we came to a completely empty room. Peter and Rick, excited about the "Sneak" skill that Peter had used earlier, insisted on "Sneaking" into the room. They curled into balls on the floor outside the room...


Then rolled to test their skill and failed.


They apparently both try to roll, trip on nothing, and faceplant into the floor.


When they finally get into the room (by abandoning "Sneak"), a series of events triggered it to ooze blood from every wall and the ceiling over Rick and Peter (who had hidden in the corner). Rick had another epiphany/idea/breakdown:


He ran out of the house and gave a big, bloody hug to an old man who had sold us cigars earlier in the game.


This made the old man insane (according to our Keeper), who then ran away, dropping ALL his cigars.



As this old man was the ONLY person in the whole world who made that type of cigars, their price skyrocketed. Rick, the only other person in the area, obtained ALL of them and left the rest of our group to pursue a career as a cigar salesman. Once per day, he rolled to find the price and the quantity of cigars sold that day, and wanted nothing to do with anything the rest of us were doing.

In one of the last rooms, a knife attacks Peter out of nowhere. I gallantly attack it with my Shephard's stick, impaling it into the wall. I then rip it out of said wall and, with the help of Eliza, the team's Art Teacher/Occultist, remove it's curse.


I gain a knife.

The epic finale of our adventure will now be shown to you as a comic-style series of pictures.
MOTIVATION: We're in the final room, and the boss, a reanimated corpse, is moving towards us. Mickey, the only player holding a shotgun at that time, is facing it. GO!










The corpse exploded, and we win the game. As it dies, a blue glowing necklace falls to the ground.


It's blue and glowing, so naturally, I...


However, Peter's girlfriend also wants. So Peter, in an attempt to play jump-rope with the proverbial Grey Area, knocks me out, picks up the necklace and gives it to his girlfriend, who gains 1 Power stat.


And that's how I swore to stab Peter in the face with the knife I found earlier.

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